The Surprise
by ScaryBones
Summary: Kenny takes the guys to a secret location. What will happen? Insane stupidity. Deleted the last chapter because it was just HORRIBLE. May rewrite this one day...
1. Pickup Truck

"Kyle, did I ever tell you how much I hate you?" Cartman asked. Kyle rolled his eyes.

"No."

"I hate you so much, that even if you were the last person on earth, I'd still hate you," Cartman said. "That's how much I hate you."

"Are you guys still fighting back there?" Kenny asked. He was driving his dad's pickup truck. Kyle and Cartman were in the back, but there ws no back window, so Kenny and Stan could hear everything that went on back there.

"Remind me again why I'm back here and not up front with you guys?" Kyle asked.

"Hey, you're the one who went on about how the seat belt's broken," Kenny said, looking bck at the jew.

"Um, Kenny, the road," Stan said, turning Kenny's head back. Kenny rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on, it's not like anything's gonna run out into the road," Kenny said. "Oh my God, a bunny!" He swerved a little. "Just kidding." He turned to Stan. His eyes were wide and he was clutching to the broken seat belt.

"Ay! Watch it up there!" Cartman shouted. "I almost fell out!"

"That's what I was hoping for," Kenny muttered. "Sorry Cartman, a bunny ran out into the road."

"Forget the bunny!" Cartman said. "I could have died. What's more important? A stupid bunny, or your best friend?"

"The bunny," Stan said. He looked back to see Cartman flipping him off. He returned the gesture.

"Are we there yet?" Kyle asked.

"No," Kenny said.

"When are we gonna get there?" Cartman asked.

"In a minute."

"I'm thirsty," Stan complained.

"I will pull this truck over!" Kenny threatened.

"Good, 'cause I gotta pee," Cartman said.

Kenny closed his eyes.

"Kenny, the road," Stan said, poking Kenny. "Pay attention."

"Sorry, but how am I supposed to pay attention to you and the road at the same time?"

"It's called multi-tasking, duh," Cartman said.

"Just shut up and let me drive," Kenny said.

"Where are we going anyways?" Kyle asked.

"I told you, it's a surprise," Kenny said, and smirked.

"Oh God, rape!" Cartman shouted. "No wonder it's so far away."

"You wish," Kenny said. "But no."

"Come on, just tell us!" Kyle cried.

"No," Kenny said, and smiled. "We're alomost there anyway."


	2. Girls!

Okay chapter two!

Thanks for the reviews!

"Okay, boys, we're almost there!" Kenny said. They were now driving on a dirt road. Kenny looked back. Cartman and Kyle were clinging onto the sides of the truck. "Scared?"

"Shut up, Kenny," Cartman muttered.

Kenny laughed and looked to his right. Stan still gripped onto the broken seat belt.

"Oh, come on," Kenny said. "Just because I'm going...75 miles an hour, doesn't mean that we're gonna die."

"You're truck can go this fast?" Kyle yelled from the back.

"Kenny, how old is this truck, exactly?" Cartman asked.

"Ugh, well, my dad got it when he was a teenager," Kenny pondered aloud. "About 30 years old, maybe older. Don't worry, I'm a good driver."

"Do you have a license?" Stan asked.

"Oh look!" Kenny said, quickly swerving to the right, sending Cartman flying onto Kyle. "There it is!"

He stopped in front of an old looking cabin. There were trees around it and it had a little pond. The roof looked like it'd fall apart any minute, but overall it looked nice.

"A cabin?" Cartman said suddenly, pulling himself off of Kyle. "We drove for an hour in the back of your dad's forty year old pickup truck, just to look at a crummy cabin that's probably gonn kill us?"

"God, you guys, you complain worse than the girls," Kenny said, opening the cabin door.

"Girls?" Cartman looked shocked. Stan and Kyle looked at each other, then at Kenny.

"Duh, what'd you think?" Kenny asked, turning around to look at the teens. "That I was going to bring only guys to a cabin? Who do think I am?" Kenny smirked before turning back to the house. Bebe was standing in the doorway, hands on her hips and smiling.

"It's about time," she said, and grabbed Kenny. She looked up and saw the other boys standing there. "The other girls were waiting, too."

Cartman quickly forgot about how dangerous the house looked and ran inside. Stan and Kyle looked at each other uncertainly before following the larger boy inside.

The floor creaked as the boys walked into the cabin. They immediatly saw two girls, sitting on the floor.

"Eww, who invited Cartman?" Heidi asked, and pretended to gag. She turned to Powder, who was blushing and looking at Kyle.

"Ay, who invited you?" Cartman snapped back.

"Shut up and go eat some pork rinds or something," Heidi shot, smirking. Cartman's eyebrows went up and he smirked.

"Nice." Heidi smiled.

"Well, nice to see that you two get along," Kenny said, walking past with Bebe and heading for the kitchen. He then leaned into Kyle. "Hey, Powder has the hots for you; say hi."

Kyle's face went red as Kenny laughed and went into the kitchen with Bebe.

"Hi, Kyle," Powder blushed. Kyle gave her a smile, also blushing, and sat down next to her on the floor.

"Hey," Kyle said.

They suddenly heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall. They turned their heads over to the noise and saw a large figure come into the livingroom.

"Raven!" Henrietta cried. She ran over to him and pulled him into a bear hug.

"Hey, Henri," Stan gasped. She pulled away and glared at the onlookers.

"Finally you showed up," she said. "I was getting annoyed with these conformists."

"Kenny, where did you get this cabin?" Bebe asked. They were making out in the kitchen.

"I saved all my money to buy it," Kenny said, picking her up and kissing her.

"Really?" Bebe asked, surprised.

"No, I just found it," Kenny said, and for a second Bebe thought he was being sarcastic, but with the look Kenny was giving her, she knew it was the truth.

"So, you just found a cabin that could be home to serial killers, or rapers, and you decide to bring your friends over for a fun time?" she asked.

"Pretty much."


	3. Bugoff!

Sooo, sorry for the short chapters. I promise they'll get longer. I might not update for a while, but then again, maybe I might. If I find inspiration...and I have to work on my other story.

But, like I said, I'll try to update as often as possible.

Thanks for the reviews!

* * *

"So, Kyle." Powder's voice broke the silence. They were sitting upstairs in one of the bedrooms. The door was left open, but everyone else was downstairs.

"Yeah?" he asked, blushing. He had never been this close to her. They were sitting on the bed together, legs touching.

"What do you wanna talk about?"

"Uh, anything, I guess," he replied.

"Um, how's school?" she asked, her face turning a deep red. "Sorry, kind of a lame question to ask."

"No, it's fine," Kyle said. "Um, well, I'm kind of nervous for the test in Advanced English."

"Oh, yeah," Red said. "We have that class together. I sit behind you."

"Oh, yeah," Kyle said, chuckling a little. "I should be studying for that test, but instead, Kenny was like, 'Oh, adventure, guys!' "

"Yeah, he dragged me over here, too," Red said, giggling. "He said there'd be a surprise for us later."

"How did he even manage to get you over here?" Stan asked. Henrietta and him were sitting on the counter in the bathroom.

"He said that there'd be a surprise for me," Henriett said. "So I slapped him." She laughed. Then her tone went back to serious. "Then I made him tell me what it was."

"So you actually wanted to come to this cabin?" Stan asked. Henrietta looked over at him.

"No, he didn't say we were coming here," she responded.

"Then, what'd he say the surprise was?"

"He said that you'd be here," she said, and he could see a light blush on her face. Stan's face went red. They both giggled.

There was a long pause before Henrietta put her hand on his. They both looked away, smiling.

"I-I thought goths didn't love," he said, looking back at her.

"For you, I made an exception."

* * *

"Alright, everyone, outside!" Kenny called, going through the house. He was soaking wet and had a beer in his hands. "Come along!"

Once everyone was outside, Kenny marched around in front of them.

"Alright, there's some rules I gotta lay down," Kenny said seriously. He cracked a smile. "But seriously. As you probably know, this isn't my cabin."

The teens nodded.

"So, in the event that the owners _do_ return, we pretend we're bears, rawr!"

The teens gave him blank stare. "Kenny, you're drunk."

"Cartman, leave the talking to me, okay?" Kenny asked, glaring at the fat boy. "Anyways, another thing is, we only have a limited amount of asprin. So if you wake up with a hangover, do _not_ take more than two pills."

"We all know what it's like to wake up with a hangover," Bebe said. She stood behind Kenny. "So don't hog them."

"Also, the pond is infested with mosquitos," Kenny continued.

"Did you seriously go swimming in the pond?" Kyle asked. "Is that why you're wet?"

"Yeah, I was trying to see if we could swim in it," Kenny said. "Big mistake. Has anyone seen the Bug-off?"

* * *

"Pig!"

"Hoe!"

"Jerk!"

"...Gah!" Cartman sighed. He was trying to come up with a come back, when Heidi kissed him. It was an angry kiss, and the large boy was in shock. He finally came out of it and kissed her back. They pulled away. "Did you just kiss me?"

"Yeah, you have a problem with it?" Heidi smirked. She sat down on the couch and turned away.

"Did I say I had a problem with it?" Cartman sat down next to her. He grabbed her arm and she turned her head towards him. He smashed his lips onto hers.

It was sloppy at first, but after pulling away and starting again, it got better.

* * *

"Henri, what are we doing?" Stan asked. They were lying in the bathtub, still clothed.

"It's the only place we can get away from those conformists," she said, a little drunk. "Besides, it's hot. Turn on the water."

Stan, who was closest to the faucet, pulled the tap out. They heard a clanking sound. "Where's the water?" Stan asked, and looked up.

Immediatly, the shower turned on.

"Whoa, I meant a bath!" the large girl cried. She sat up and tried to get out of tub. Falling flat on her face, she scowled. The other teen landed on top of her. "Get off me!"

She rolled over and knocked him off. They both lay there for a moment, panting. Finally, Henrietta started laughing.

"Dude, what was that?" she cried, tears forming in her eyes. She laughed harder. Stan grabbed onto the sink and hoisted himself up. She grabbed onto his ankle and pulled him back down.

He landed akwardly on her. "Henri!"

She sat up with him in her lap. She moved his legs so that they were around her back. He laughed.

"What are you doing?" he asked. She cupped his face in her hands. He looked into her eyes, his smile gone.

She moved her face towards him. His mouth opened a bit and he closed his eyes. Their lips connected and his hands went to her hair.

"Raven..."

* * *

Ah ha! Love Stanrietta? Stenrietta? LOL. Well anyways, I'll try to update when I can. (n_n)


	4. The Surprise!

Okay, chapter four!

It was the middle of the night and everyone was either asleep or about to fall asleep. Kenny was just closing his eyes when he heard a noise outside. Groggily, he got up and walked over to the window.

He could see two light through the trees. They were getting closer and looked as if they were heading for the cabin.

Alarmed, he reached for Bebe. He shook her.

"Kenny, what's wrong with you?" she hissed.

"I think the owners are coming!" he said frantically. She jumped out of bed.

"What?" she asked. "We need to get everybody out!"

The two blonds went through the house, waking everybody and telling them to head out the back door.

"I'm a bear!" Cartman shouted. "Rawr!" Kenny cupped his hand over the fat teen's mouth.

"Shut up, do you wanna get us all killed?" Kenny asked. Cartman pushed him away.

They kneeled just outside the cabin. Kenny peeked into the window.

They heard a truck pull up and male voices. The front door burst open and Kenny ducked. The owners walked through the house, picking things up.

"It looks like some people were here," a voice said. Kenny dared to peek through the window. There were three backs to him. One of the guys had black hair, then there was a blond, and a brunett.

"What if they're the owners?" the blond one said. He yelped. Kenny tilted his head to the side.

"Calm down, Tweek," the black haired one said. "I'm sure they're gone now."

Kenny turned to his friends. "Dudes, it's Craig and them!" They all sighed relief and stood. Kenny smirked and put his head into the window. "Hey!" he yelled in a gruff voice. "What are you doing in my cabin? Squeal for me pigs!"

Craig, Tweek, and Clyde jumped away from the window. Clyde crashed into the wall and Tweek screamed. Craig tripped over the rug in an effort to run away. Kenny laughed.

The three looked over in his direction as the others came in through the back door.

"Haha! You should have seen the look on your faces!" Cartman shouted, laughing.

Craig flipped them all off, though he was smiling. Kenny went over and threw an arm around him.

"Sorry, dude, I couldn't resist scaring you," Kenny said, laughing.

"I was about ready to start squealing," Craig said, pushing Kenny's arm away. He helped Tweek off the ground.

"Jesus Christ!" Tweek shook, but a smile formed on his lips. "That was so scary."

"Oh my God, and Clyde crashed!" Kenny laughed, noticing Clyde was still on the ground, laughing. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just banged my head." Kenny helped him up.

"What's going on?" They all turne to the noise, which was near the staircase.

Token stood there, a bat in his hands. The group started laughing. Token put down the bat in embarrassement and walked toward them.

"Ha ha ha, very funny," he said.

"That was priceless!" Powder squealed. Kyle laughed and grabbed her hand.

"Whoa, you two going out?" Craig asked, looking at the pair. They nodded. "Well, isn't that...creepy?"

Kyle glared at Craig, who laughed and rolled his eyes.

"No, it's weird because you guys are like, exactly the same," Craig explained.

"Whatever," Kyle said. "We're not the only weird ones; check out Cartman and Heidi."

Craig's mouth dropped as he looked at the two, holding hands on the table. "Whoa." He then looked to Stan, who was near the door. Henrietta was playing with his shirt. "Now I've seen everything."

It was around four in the morning when they all decided to go to sleep. After a beer, which Craig thankfully brought, they were all passed out.

Kyle was the first to wake up, the sun hitting his face and making it impossible to go back to sleep. He sighed and pushed himself off the bed. Powder was still sleeping.

He watched her for a couple minutes until he realized how creepy he was being. He went downstairs and noticed that Tweek was gone. Craig was asleep on the couch.

"Craig," Kyle said, shaking him. "Tweek's gone." Craig pushed the redhead away. "Craig."

"What?" Craig asked, flipping him off and stretching. He sat up suddenly. "Where's Tweek?"

"That's what I was trying to tell you," Kyle said, sighing. Craig stood up and looked around.

"Well, he's gotta be _somewhere_," Craig said. He went to the kitchen. "Ah ha! There you are."

Kyle rolled his eyes as he walked into the kitchen. Tweek was asleep on the floor, in front of the coffee maker. "Of course."

It was nearing noon when the guys realized there was nothing in the house to eat.

"Well, it looks like we're going shopping," Kenny said in disgust. He suddenly beamed. "Or, the girls are going shopping!"

Bebe looked over at him and gave him a half-lidded look. "Fine, but you're eating what we buy."

"Well, don't forget to buy coffee for Tweek," Craig said. "He's running out and I don't think I can go through that again."

"And get some cheesy poofs," Cartman said, nudging Heidi.

"We'll get whatever we think you need," Power said.

So the girls, save Henrietta, piled into Kenny's pickup and drove off.

"So, do you like, not do anything that girls do?" Cartman asked the fat goth.

She scowled at him, flipping him off. "Do you do anything that skinny guys do?"

"Hey, I wouldn't talk!" Cartman yelled. "Haven't you looked in a mirror lately? It's a wonder that Stan's going out with you."

"Oh, and you're no different?"

"Guys, knock it off," Stan said, sighing. "You fight as much as Kyle and...you, Cartman."

"Whatever," Cartman said. "I'm going upstairs."

"What a conformist," Henrietta said as the large boy stomped upstairs. She looked over to Stan. He had his head in his hands. "What's wrong?" she asked, putting an arm around him.

He looked at her. He wasn't crying, but he looked tired. "I just don't see the point in fighting with everyone."

"Hey, I was standing up for myself," Henrietta snapped. "He's the one who started it."

"Okay, whatever," Stan said. "Just ignore him next time, kay?"

"Fine."

Okay, that's enbough of this chapter. Have serious writer's block. Thanks for the reviews! (n_n)


	5. The Strangers

Okay, sorry for the looooooooooooong wait, I had a severe case of writer's block. I'm so happy I finally did this. Enjoy, my lovelies.

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Kenny stretched outside the cabin. The sun was barely coming up.

So why in the world was he up? Didn't he have a hangover? Oh no, that's right; he took some pills in the middle of the night.

He went over to Craig's truck, noticing that it didn't have a speck of dirt on it.

_How is this even possible?_ thought Kenny, looking down the dusty road. He shrugged it off.

"Kenny, come back inside," Bebe called for him from the doorway of the cabin. The blond boy turned and smiled at his girlfriend.

"Kay, babe, just checkin' out Craig's truck," Kenny said, walking toward the girl.

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"C-craig?" Tweek asked, shaking his boyfriend. When he got no answer, he panicked. "Craig, wake up! Are you alive?" Tweek turned away. "Oh my god, he's dead."

"Tweek?" Craig asked, sitting up and looking at the shaking blond.

"Craig! You're alive!" The blond wrapped his arms around Craig in a bear hug. The raven chuckled.

The two got out of bed and went into the livingroom. Kenny and Bebe were making out in the doorway, Cartman and Heidi were kicking each other in their sleep, and Token and Clyde were in deep conversation.

"Eew, get a room, you guys," Craig shouted, scaring everyone in the room, and waking up the couple on the floor. Tweek jumped and almost ripped his shirt-he was tugging so hard.

"What's your problem, Craig?" the fat boy on the ground scowled. "Why can't you just - what's that expression? Let sleeping dogs lay, or something?"

Craig rolled his eyes. "Where's everyone else?"

"Well, the two nerds are still sleeping in the bedroom, and the goths are outside somewhere," Kenny responded, and returned to Bebe's lips.

"Ugh, what time is it?" Craig asked, pulling out his phone. "Eight-thirty? You gotta be kidding me!"

"Sorry, Craig, I d-didn't mean to wake you up so early," Tweek apologized.

_Man._ "No, Tweek, I was mad because my phone's almost out of battery life," Craig said slowly, so he sounded reassuring, and not like he was making it up as he went along, which he was.

"Oh."

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"Raven, do you know where you're going?" Henrietta asked, following her boyfriend. They stepped over a fallen tree.

"Uh, yeah," the raven responded. "I know this place like the back of my hand."

"Really, how?" she asked. " 'Cuz I got here before you, and I _know_ you've never been here before."

Stan laughed. "Okay, so I'm lost," he said. Henrietta smirked.

"You're so lucky I've been keeping track of us," the fat goth said. " 'Cause if we get left in these woods, I won't hesitate to kill you."

"Oh, how _romantic_," Stan said. "That's my idea of a perfect date. A walk in the woods, watching the sunset, then stabbed to death by a stick."

"Actually I was thinking of pounding your head in with a rock," Henrietta said, pretending to be serious. "And then eating you."

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"What's that?" a blond said to his companion. The brunette scowled.

"It looks like someone's in our cabin."

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The teens were all sitting around the kitchen table. Sandwhiches had been made, each a little different.

"Kenny, how can you eat that?" Kyle asked. Kenny looked at his licorice with peanut-butter and honey sandwhich.

"I had a craving," Kenny responded.

"What, are you pregnant?" Cartman asked, snickering.

"Well I hope not," the blond replied. "We used protection."

The teens around the table laughed.

"Hey, guys," Token said, looking out the window. "Did anyone invite someone over?"

"No, why?" Bebe responded.

"Because there's a truck driving up the dirt road."

This caused a look of panic around the table.

"What?" Kenny asked, getting up and looking out the window. "Uh oh, quick hide!"

"Rawr?" Clyde offered, getting a glare from Kenny.

The teens went out the back door and hid agaist the wall.

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"Who's trucks are these?" the blond asked. His friend shrugged, a scowl on his face.

"Let's go inside and see."

The two companions walked inside the house, noticing that it was trashed.

"Ugh, whoever it was really doesn't know how to clean up after themselves," the blond said, sighing. "Well, whoever they are, they're still here."

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Got a guess of who the two mysterious 'friends' might be? I'll give you a hint: They're not from the show, but from the movie. Ooh! Thanks for your reviews!


	6. Look, They Made Sandwiches

_Haha, many of you knew who the 'strangers' were, lol. Thanks for the reviews!_

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The teens huddled outside of the cabin, Kenny watching through the window for any sign of people. He saw a blond and a brunette walk into the kitchen. He ducked.

"What do they look like?" Clyde asked.

"There's a blond and a guy with a shovel," Kenny said, breathing heavily.

"Wait a minute," Stan said. "Is the blond a guy?"

Kenny nodded, giving Stan a confused look. "Why does it matter? I'd worry about the guy with the shovel!"

"Let me look," Stan said, looking through the window. "Holy crap!"

"What, what?" Kenny yelled, pulling Stan down. "Did they see you?"

The raven pushed Kenny away. "Dude, it's Gregory!"

"Who's that?" Kenny and Henrietta asked at the same.

"Don't you remember?" Kyle asked. "Remember when our mom's started the war with Canada?"

"Aw, lame, that fag's here?" Cartman said, looking through the window. "And that french guy, lame. Why'd they have to ruin it?"

"What are you guys talking about?" Kenny asked. "What do you mean?"

"Oh yeah, that's right," Kyle said. "You were dead when the war was happening."

"But you should at least remember Gregory," Stan said. "You've seen him before. He was that guy who stole Wendy from me." Henrietta kicked him. "Hey! I don't like her anymore, I was just telling him."

"Dude, what do we do?" Kyle asked. "Do you think they'd kill us?"

"Only one way to find out," Kenny said mischievously.

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"Look, they made sandwiches," Gregory said to his pal. "Didn't even bother cleaning it up." He took his gun out from his pocket and cocked it.

They heard some scuffles. Christophe gripped his shovel. "Zey are in here."

He started opening cabinets. Gregory started cleaning up the mess, his gun still in his hand.

The two teens heard the backdoor open. Gregory aimed his gun and Christophe turned from the cabinets.

"Who are you?" Gregory demanded, hand on the trigger of his gun. The boy in the doorway raised his hands. "Wait a minute, you seem familiar." Gregory lowered his gun and stepped towards the teen.

Christophe stopped him with his shovel. " 'e might zeem familiar cuz 'e eez one of our enemies." Gregory pushed the shovel out of his way. He raised his gun again as he neared the teen.

"Oh my god, Christophe," Gregory said suddenly, dropping his hand. "It's that kid from South Park. When we were kids, remember?"

Christophe rubbed his head. "Uh, non. Wait, eet's zat kid who zought wiz 'is deek!"

"Uh yeah, sure," Stan said. "Look, we didn't mean to trash your cabin-"

"We?" Christophe asked, poking the raven with his shovel. "Zere are more of you?"

The rest of the teens came out of hiding.

"Why are you here?" Gregory asked, pointing his weapon at all of them. They froze.

"Um, dude," Kenny spoke up, waking right into the cabin and up to the Brit. "I thought this place was deserted, okay? We wanted to have some fun."  
"Step back away from me," Gregory warned, aiming his gun at Kenny. The poor blond just yawned. "I'm warning you." Kenny suddenly hit Gregory's hand, making the gun fly across the room.

Christophe, hearing the noise, turned in that direction. "Oh, boy." He didn't seem too panicked. He moved his shovel in front of Kenny, blocking him from Gregory. "I zink zat 'e eez ze boy you told me about. Ze one zat dies and comes back?"

"Oh, yes," gregory said, suddenely remembering. He pushed Kenny away from him and scowled. "Don't ever hit me again." He went to retrieve his gun as the rest of the teen came in.

Christophe went towards the door, shut it, and locked it. "Now, what can we do wiz you?"

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_Ooh, what are they going to do? What does Christophe have in mind? Thanks for your reviews. They keep me going. :)_


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